Being A Good Man Isn’t About The Rules, It’s About Respect.
Break those “Restrictions”!
There isn’t a day where I don’t see this little phrase on my twitter feed, “All men are the same”. I have heard these words from all types of women with all types of experiences. It is constantly thrown out there in frustration when someone deals with a particular mindset multiple times from people who identify themselves as a male. In fairness, it can be very frustrating at times. I don’t blame anyone who thinks this way, I just feel like it is extremely damaging to those men who want to change this stereotypical notion.
Before I go ahead, I would like to apologize to all the good women out there who have been mislead and mistreated by my kind. Unfortunately, I believe that this type of misogynistic behavior has been deeply ingrained within us and our society. I don’t think it will change any time soon. But, I also think that everyone deserves a second chance to improve and one day raise the next generation of boys to be “Good Men”.
Whenever I speak to my friends about masculinity, they feel trapped inside this social construct by what they perceive as rules and restrictions that surround masculine behavior, particularly when it comes to dealing with women. It’s hard to feel like you’re being a good man when it seems like every time you turn around, you’ve tripped over another boundary or run up against a rule about how to behave around women.
Let me explain what I think defines a “Good Man”. A good man is not a nice man — he does not do things to be nice, he does things because he has a moral code and a set of values he prioritizes, and will always do his best to align his actions with his own personal standards. A good man will not do the easy thing or the convenient thing, or even the thing that he wants to do in the face of temptation. He will always do what is right and respectful.
A key to being a good man is very simple: having respect for your spouse. It is having respect for their feelings, perspectives, capabilities, and experiences. That means that sometimes you have to give up certain desires and behaviors because you recognize that it hurts your best friend. After all, their feelings and well-being should be one of your biggest priorities.
I am tired of seeing that phrase over and over again. Lets change the way we live and hold ourselves accountable for our action and misconceptions. Lets work towards becoming good men. Don’t get hung up on “rules and regulations” and executing perfect masculine behavior. Develop your empathy and your respect for others, and you’ll find that being a good man doesn’t need to be as hard as we sometimes make it out to be.
